trapped on the terraces, i looked at you and knew
by weep little lion man
Summary: had you been there today you might know how it feels. an eponine/enjolras oneshot.


So, I don't own anything. Especially not Les Mis, though I wish I did. But yeah, I seriously love Enjolras/Eponine. I'm actually obsessed with them and they should be together, even though they've been dead for what, 170 years? Title goes to the song Barricade by Stars. It really should be Les Mis' anthem. Just look up the lyrics ok okay enjoy :)

* * *

Enjolras has never been a good sleeper. He spends most nights awake. When he does sleep, he dreams of victory, flames of rebellion lit in his fellow citizen's eyes, a defiance within them that says, "I will not back down. You do not control me." It is the only thing Enjolras believes. He lives and breathes the rebellion.

Sometimes, though, when it's almost reaching dawn and he begins to finally sleep, he dreams different thoughts. He dreams of a girl, with dark eyes and dark hair but a beautiful soul. He doesn't know who this girl is, because hell, he doesn't really talk to girls. He pushes those dreams out of his mind because he doesn't really know what to do with them.

(Although occasionally he lets his mind wander).

.

"Vive la republique!"

The ABC Club chants it, but no one really means it like Enjolras does. Marius, his second-in-command, hogs the attention with tales of his new lady love.

"One minute there, and she was gone. My god, you should have seen her! Hair like the sun, eyes like the ocean, skin as pale as the moon. She is beautiful."

The fellow members of the ABC laughed heartily, happy for their friend. Enjolras, on the other hand, had to resist the urge to roll his eyes to the heavens. Or smack Marius upside the head. Maybe both.

"Honestly Marius, there are more important matters at hand. Like, succeeding at the barricades tomorrow."

Marius laughed. "Oh come now, Enjolras. We're just having a bit of fun. Besides, if you had been there today, you might know how it feels. To be struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight!"

Enjolras snorted. "You're ridiculous, Marius. You're not a child anymore. There is no such as love at first sight."

Marius smiled. "Maybe there is."

.

After about a half an hour of more banter, between mostly Marius and Enjolras, a small boy turned up at the door.

"General Lamarque is dead," the boy, Gavroche, announced to the men.

A heavy silence filled the room for a moment, Enjolras finally breaking the silence.

"Tomorrow we will honor his death with a light of rebellion ablaze. This is turning point."

After a while everyone went back to their business. Murmurs filled the room, speculations about the next day, talks of the weapons they owned, and to Enjolras' distaste, the topic of Marius' new girl still managed to be brought back to the conversations.

A creak on the stairs jolted Marius out of his reverie. "Eponine!"

Enjolras frowned. Was Eponine the girl Marius kept going on about? He turned towards the stairs and saw a girl, around his age, standing on the stairs. She had dark hair and tan skin. She was certainly not Marius' love. After a few moments of looking at her, he had to admit she _was _pretty. Maybe even beautiful.

Eponine and Marius talked in hushed whispers. After a moment Marius' face lit up like a flame. "We must go there at once! Oh, thank you so much Ponine! You're the greatest friend!"

Enjolras couldn't help but notice the way Eponine smiled after he said that. Unlike many of his other friends, including Marius, Enjolras was not completely oblivious. It was quite obvious that Eponine cared for Marius a lot. A whole lot.

Marius glanced back at him. "I have to go, Enjolras. It's important. I'll see you tomorrow."

Enjolras shrugged. There was nothing he could do to stop him. As Marius and Eponine retreated down the stairs, Eponine glanced up at Enjolras for a second.

And fuck, Enjolras isn't exactly the romantic type, (in fact, not at all), but he swears his heart stops beating. When he looks back, she's gone.

He thinks it's a bit fucking ironic that only a few minutes ago he was dissing Marius about his "love at first sight", and now this girl suddenly appears and looks at him _once _and he swears his heart will beat out of his chest.

Shaking his head, he turns back to his friends and recovers himself quickly. He's being stupid. Just because some pretty girl looks at you doesn't mean you love her. It doesn't even mean you _like_ her. The only thing he knows about her is her name. Eponine.

.

Enjolras lies in his bed, wide awake. This is nothing new. In his mind, he goes over what will happen tomorrow at the barricades. Tactics, backup plans, supplies of ammunition. He also can't help thinking about what will happen if it all goes wrong. All those dead bodies. All the blood.

He chooses to ignore the bad thoughts. His mind wanders over to Eponine. He absolutely cannot say anything about her to his friends. He just knows he'll be called a hypocrite for him teasing Marius about his love. Enjolras also knows the endless teasing will never stop.

He shakes his head. He's not even sure why he's thinking about this. They've never even spoken to each other. They do not know each other; they know nothing about each other. She means nothing to him, or at least she shouldn't.

Sleep never comes that night.

.

The sound of drums and horses' hooves fill Enjolras' ears. A long line of French soldiers march down the main street. He stands across the street from Marius. They nod at each other. They know that the time for rebellion has come now.

Enjolras isn't sure who fires the first shot, but suddenly everything is completely chaotic. French soldiers begin firing at random, killing innocent townspeople.

He starts to realize what's happening. He looks for the dead. An old woman; a middle-aged man; a young boy.

"TO THE BARRICADES!" Enjolras shouts out.

Marius catches up to him as they run through the streets. "There are innocent people de-"

"I know." Enjolras replies sadly. "I saw them."

.

Enjolras stares up at the tall barricades he and his friends have helped build. Chairs, desks, pianos, bed frames and more fill the narrow street. The soldiers have not come yet, but Enjolras knows they will. He feels it in his bones.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots an amis that he can't quite place. Taking a closer look, he realizes that this isn't an amis that he knows. Not quite. It's Eponine.

He coughs loudly, Eponine looking up sharply. "I'm sure you're not supposed to be here, Mademoiselle."

Eponine shot him a glare. "It is not any of your business what I do, Monsieur. You don't know me."

"I'm the leader of this rebellion. You shouldn't be out here. It's too dangerous for you."

Eponine looked up at him with distaste. "You think I don't know danger? I have been working on the streets of Paris since I was thirteen. I have seen many things, Monsieur –"

"Enjolras," he replied softly.

"Monsieur Enjolras. I do not doubt that you mean well, but this is my decision to fight with you and your friends. This is important to me as well."

Enjolras gave her a hard stare. "I know why you are doing this. You want to prove yourself to Marius. You care for him." It isn't a question.

Eponine eyed him warily. "You don't know anything."

"True. I do not know you nor do I pretend to. But I did see the way you looked at him on the stairs last night."

Eponine shifted uncomfortably. "I suppose you're right. But I should go be of more help. I shouldn't have wasted your time with these ridiculous matters that I'm sure do you not interest you at all. And Marius adores Cosette. He does not love me."

"If you think that, then why are you here?"

Eponine sighed, gazing wistfully at Marius, who was talking quietly to Joly, oblivious to Enjolras and Eponine. "I still hold on to that hope that maybe he will love me one day. That he will forget Cosette and realize that I love him. More than anything."

"More than anything?" Enjolras' breath hitches when he says it.

Eponine does not quite meet his eye. "More than anything," she confirms.

Her voice shakes.

.

Dusk settles in. The soldiers have not arrived yet. But the threat still lingers in the air, prominent and heavy. Enjolras yearns to sleep, but he cannot. There are more important matters.

Marius sits in a corner, writing a letter to he presumes is Cosette. Enjolras also spies Eponine staring at Marius from across the courtyard. It is pitiful, her love for him. He does not doubt she loves him very much, but he wishes she would recognize that he would most likely never love her back. He wants to tell her that she should attempt to move on. There will only be more pain and suffering ahead.

He decides to join her, as there is no else that approaches him. "Hello, Eponine."

She smiles at him sadly. "Hello, Enjolras."

They sit in silence for a few minutes, Enjolras struggling to come up with something to say. "I, er, well, do you ever think you will move on from Marius?" The words come out jumbled and tangled.

Eponine frowns. "I don't know. I- well, I doubt it. Why are you asking?"

_Well, fuck. _He's almost positive Eponine can hear his heart beating wildly. "Um, well, I just wanted to ask. Because – I think you deserve to be happy. And I don't know if Marius can ever give that to you. Because of Cosette, and all."

She doesn't speak for what feels like ages. When he finally turns to look at her, he notices that her hands are shaking. Enjolras has the sudden urge to hold them, kiss them, kiss _her_, tell her that even though Marius doesn't love you I will, I will be there for you, I can hold you when you cry and kiss you when you're happy and –

Enjolras snaps back to reality and realizes that he _is _holding Eponine's hand. She is staring up at him with confusion her face.

"I, I'm sorry Mademoiselle. I barely know you, I shouldn't have –" he says, stuttering like mad.

"Oh Enjolras, it's fine. Thank you for your kindness, I- I appreciate it. You are very kind." Eponine smiles, a sad smile, and turns to go help Gavroche down at the other end of the barricade.

He watches her walk away.

.

Enjolras had only been sleeping for about an hour when the sound of nearing footsteps were heard. Grantaire, who was keeping watch, started yelling. "Get up! Get up! They're here!"

All of a sudden Enjolras is wide awake. He grabs his musket. He tries to ignore the pounding rush of adrenaline. He refuses to admit he is terrified. Marius, Combeferre, and the others look to him for support. He sends them a supporting nod, but on the inside he is quaking. In that moment he realizes the basis of human emotions, the core of everything; deep, unadulterated fear. It reaches his bones. He says nothing.

The leader of the French soldiers calls out, "You know, you can back down. We will let you walk away."

Clearing his throat, Enjolras thinks. He could do it. He could tell everyone to leave, tell them to go home, back to their loved ones. But then he remembers the thing he loves most. France. His home. He is willing to die for her.

He stares back determinedly. "LONG LIVE THE REPUBLIC!"

The leader smirks and yells for the cannons.

.

Enjolras is tired. He is tired of shooting and tired of dodging bullets and worrying for his friends. He wants to go home, but he does not give up.

The thing he sees next terrifies him beyond his belief. A French soldier has his gun aimed directly at Marius' heart. As much as Marius drives him crazy, they are best friends.

But he sees that he isn't the only one who realizes Marius will die. He sees Eponine climbing the barricade as fast as she can, throwing herself in front of Marius just as – "NO! EP-" Enjolras yells without thinking, but he realizes it is too late.

He watches Eponine gasp in pain, stumbling backwards into Marius' arms. Marius gapes, a choked scream coming out. "Eponine – Ponine – what are you doing here? My god, you got shot – no, no please, someone get help –"

Eponine smiles up at Marius, the saddest and brightest smile there is. "Oh Marius, it's okay. I don't feel pain. As long as you're here. Just hold me."

Marius is crying, hiccupping, the tears streaming down. "O-of course Ponine. I'm here." Eponine closes her eyes for a moment. It begins to rain. Of course, Enjolras thinks. It would rain for her. It is what she deserves.

Eponine opens her eyes for one more moment, speaking softly, just above a whisper, "Marius, I-,"

Enjolras' throat tightens when her eyes flicker to him for a split second. Her dark eyes reach his heart. It tears it up. This is when he realizes he was wrong when he said fear was the greatest emotion – love is. It reaches deeper than the fear did.

Eponine closes her eyes for a final time, and he knows she is gone. He now feels the wetness of the rain upon his face for the first time. Grantaire picks up Eponine and carries her lifeless body away. Marius slumps back against the barricade, tears mingling with the rain.

Enjolras cannot speak. He tries to say something but he is unable to. He goes into the empty boulangerie and leans against a pole. He realizes he is crying and he cannot stop the tears.

Who is he to say that he loved Eponine? He does not know her. They met yesterday. The only things he knows about her is her name, that she is beautiful, and that she is the bravest person he knows. But still, he thinks back to Marius said at the ABC Café last night in reply to Enjolras saying there is no such as love at first sight. "Maybe there is," Enjolras whispers to himself. That's what Marius. Perhaps he was right after all.

He stands there and cries for five more minutes, and then manages to straighten himself up enough to go back outside. When he does he almost wishes he hadn't. Most of his friends lie on the ground, dying or already dead. Marius is nowhere to be found. The cobblestones are slick with blood.

.

Enjolras realizes the streets are too dangerous. If he has any chance, he needs to get inside somewhere. He finds a wine store that looks good enough. He goes to the highest floor and stands there, breathing heavily, for a good twenty minutes.

He knows it's all over when he hears the heavy footsteps coming near. The lump in his throat is so great that he cannot breathe properly. He was stupid to ever think he could survive this.

He moves towards the window, breathes fresh air one last time, looks out at the sky. The soldiers converge on the room, guns aimed directly at him.

The leader of the soldiers chuckles and says, "Last one, huh? Want to beg for forgiveness now?" The other soldiers snigger.

Enjolras manages to speak. He swallows his fear and thinks of Eponine, climbing the barricade, facing her death, and the smile on her face when she died.

He stares defiantly back. "Shoot me," he says.

His hands are shaking.

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